A Broken Life
by Consumed by Loneliness
Summary: A girl i made up was living a sad life n then is sold to sesshmaru RR please P
1. Default Chapter

I do not Own Inuyasha if I did well I wouldn't be writing this now would I? This is a songfic somewhat I also do not own the song I think dream theater does check em out their cool if its not them its Suicidal Tendencies if not them chimera doubt it tho ok people its like 2 to 4 songs maybe all together on different chapters

Hitomi brushed her long blonde hair staring back at her from the mirror was a woman, long blonde hair, pale blue eyes that had been blackened and her lips chapped and bloody. A silent scream began to make its way up through her throat but she held it back in fear. She stood and sat on the small futon she'd been sleeping on for the past 20years of her life, nightmares being the only thing she would see every time she closed her eyes. Afraid to wake up to another day death being the only thing she'd been wanting. She woke up in a cold sweat this nightmare was worse than last night they kept getting worse. He walked in and sat down beside her, "Nightmares again?" he asked.

She nodded, "You screamed" he said and her eyes grew wide, "Please no…" she choked as he wrapped his hands around her neck tightening his grip. "your mine" he said, she shook her head, he threw her to the floor, she kept it inside all the pain her undying fear. He finished she was bleeding on the floor she couldn't cry she wasn't allowed she only kept her feelings to herself. She fell asleep again on the floor as she cried and saw a man long white…a man? No…something more….would he save her…no it was only a dream.

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Here I sit and watch my world come crumbling down  
I cry for help but no one's around  
Silently screaming I bang my head against the wall  
It seems like no one cares at all  


The next day she woke the dream still burning in her mind, she smiled thinking of that man a broken smile never the less. He walked in picked her up from the floor, "I'm selling you…my most prized possession…I need the money sadly your not worth a lot…" his words harsh he threw her to the floor, "change your clothes your gone today at noon."

She did as she was told she was excited hoping someone not as cruel would purchase her, but would she be that lucky? She was finished and he came in and grabbed her arm, "Lord Hayate…may I ask who will be purchasing me?" "No!" he barked and then acted as if he were gentle with her as they stepped in front of some green creature.

"I want her to remain innocent do not touch her if you decide to return her but you will not get your money back." Hayate had said as he handed her over to the short creature who wrapped a chain around her ankle. He handed Hayate the money and dragged her out by the chain. " A slave" the creature murmured " a salve woman why would Lord Sesshomaru request this a woman?!" he was in disbelief , Hitomi interrupted, "Sir if you don't mind me asking who are you and who is this Lord Sesshomaru you mumbled about?" the creature stopped pulling her and turned his beady little eyes burning into hers. " Lord Sesshomaru only wanted you knowing you were the only slave woman for sale you will only attend to his young _human _companion Rin who has grown far to attached to him if you ask me!" the creature turned not giving his name to Hitomi and just kept dragging her along. The night came and she stared up at the stars she smiled it felt so good to be free from that torture, she stared until the trees covered her gaze and she stared back at the ground and her chained ankles she sighed.

They stopped and the creature stared into the trees "LOOOORRRDD SESSSSSHHHHHOOOOOMMMMMAAAARRRRRUUUUU!!!" the creature bellowed and it echoed through the forest. " I hear you jaken im right behind you did you bring the female?" "yes lord she's right here" jaken turned and showed Hitomi to him. She looked up and their eyes met.

Always an emotion, but how can I explain  
How can I explain  
Kind of like the scent of a rose  
With words I can't explain  
The same with my pain  
Caught up in emotion-Goes over my head  
Goes over my head

Sesshomaru blinked he shook his head "come Rin ." a young girl stepped out long black hair ratted and her clothes and skin dirty. Hitomi looked at her in shock, then back to Sesshomaru "Am I here to care for her?" she asked quietly "Lord Sesshomaru" jaken barked at her and she jumped. Sesshomaru stared at her once more "yes" he responded his voice was pleasant to Hitomi's ears gentle and soothing she'd fallen in love with it, his voice would be relaxing to hear. "Then My Lord Sesshomaru the first thing…is to let her get to know me….then clean her up no little girl should be covered in dirt from head to toe." Hitomi smiled her broken smile and Rin laughed "I like you already" she said still laughing. Sesshomaru didn't smile and Hitomi wondered about this…then her eyes widened…_the man from my dream_ she thought but no not a man a demon.

"alright." came Sesshomaru's gentle voice "but first I would like to speak with you and make sure I can trust young Rin with you" hitomi nodded and she stared down at the chains on her ankles. "jaken remove them she is of no harm, im here." jaken did as he was told and he removed the chains letting Hitomi step forward towards Sesshomaru.

They spoke quietly and then he let her go she half heartedly smiled and walked over taking Rin's hand and Sesshomaru showed her the nearest lake. "There you go you two may clean yourselves here." and he turned away. Rin quickly removed her clothing and jumped in the water as Hitomi gently removed her kimono feeling the blood that had soaked through and trying not to touch her bruises or cuts. Rin stared at her " Lady Hitomi…" "Not lady…just ….Hitomi…" Rin laughed and splashed water in her own face, 'Alright …Hitomi why do you bleed and why is your skin so black and blue and the cuts on your face and the rings around your eyes and…" "enough Rin" Hitomi Stammered "don't ask such questions just get yourself cleaned up." "Sorry Hitomi"

Hitomi stood in the water cleaning herself up wincing as the water washed away the blood and fell over her cuts. Tears welled up in her eyes but she held them back.

Sesshomaru stood behind a tree watching her only noticing the large and small gashes on her body , the bruises that had formed and the bloodied water. She turned feeling eyes upon her covering herself she searched and saw his glowing yellow eyes, they stared and burned into each other again.

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Sometimes I got to think to myself is this life or death  
Am I living or am I dead  
The clock keeps ticking but nothing else seems to change  
Problems never solved, just rearranged  
And when I think about all the times that I've had  
So few good-So many bad  
I search for personality and I look for things I can not see

What were these feelings he felt emitting from her what demon held her soul?

Could he show feelings for this woman this human creature, this thing he thought of as below him, as weak, as …worthless? Should he? Would it be right? _look how my brother cares for his human wench could I care for this one like he cares for his?_ Sesshomaru shook his head he would think of that no more tonight. He blinked and made her take her gaze from him. She went back to cleaning her cuts. She got out wrapping her kimono around herself and rins around her. "Rin…is Lord Sesshmaru kind to you?" Rin smiled brightly and nodded "You'll soon see" and as soon as her obi was tied Rin took off running twords Sesshmaru and jumped around him, Hitomi watched as he just looked at her then turned his gaze to the sky " Time for you to sleep Rin" came his gentle voice and Rin dropped to the ground and cuddled up in a ball next to him.

Hitomi sat against a tree Sleeping out here she thought what about…she stared at sesshmaru again and sighed thinking back to what Rin had said what did this child know , Hitomi had only been with the Lord for only a few hours she couldn't see what the child saw she would want to know more about him. Lord Sesshomaru…her thoughts faded and she fell asleep. Sesshomaru looked at her then to Jaken, "Where did you find her Jaken?" he questioned the small creature who jumped " A man , Tall he was and Burley ." "did you hear anything while you were there ?" " While I was waiting my lord I heard a large thud and then nothing just the opening of the door and then he gave me the woman."  
"did you get this mans name?" " of course my lord, Lord Hayate was it." Sesshmaru nodded and then let his gaze drift towards Hitomi , she moved in her sleep and whimpered, cried out in pain it seemed and finally awoke her eyes met his. Again? ….

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Love and peace flash through my mind  
Pain and hate are all I find  
Find no hope in nothing new  
Never had a dream come true  
Lies and hate and agony  
Thru my eyes that's all I see

These feelings he felt emitting from her would not change or go away every time he looked at her his thoughts began to race. What could have happened to her? He thought he knew but he couldn't assume he would have to ask her and make sure his thoughts were true. His eyes burned into hers and she turned her head.

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If I'm gonna cry  
Will you wipe away my tears?  
If I'm gonna die  
Lord please take away my fear  
Before I drown in sorrow  
Last thing that I'll say  
How will I laugh tomorrow

She felt as though he was reading her thoughts as he burned his look in her eyes. She fell asleep again, would she dream peaceful tonight, what would go on in her slumbering mind?

Sesshomaru kept his gaze on her his body stiff what were these feelings, he hated them so.

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If I can't even smile today  
Today today--when I can't even smile today  
Today today--when I can't even smile today  
How will I laugh tomorrow--when I can't even smile today  
How will I laugh tomorrow--when I can't even smile today

Ok people that is it for this chapter chapter one whooo im glad with the results I actually am liking this this may be the first fic I write that I actually maybe like I admit it's a bit corny but I kinda like it


	2. Wounds So Deep

Blah I don't think this chapter will turn out like I want it to its all going to suck I think the first chapter was good but this one will suck eggs?maybe I dunno let me know. (noowningofinuyashaupinhere) lol

Now im sure this song in this chapter is Dream Theater and I love them their good! SUPPORT!! Lol P

Sesshomaru kept his gaze on her his body stiff what were these feelings, he hated them so.

****

Wounds So Deep

Hitomi was awake as soon as the sun had shone through the trees, she stood and stretched. She turned and looked over at Sesshomaru and Rin still cuddled together, she smiled. What should I do? She thought, for food. Just then Sesshomaru had opened his eyes and glanced at Hitomi, "What are you doing?" he questioned, "Just?stretching."

Sesshomaru looked down at Rin, "Lets go Rin" he said and she shot up "Yes Lord Sesshomaru!" and she stood by his side. "Hitomi" he said "lets go". Her eyes seemed to have brightened as she went and stood at Rins side taking her hand.

This was so different she hadn't been beaten yet, it seemed wrong, yet was nice, she'd been stuck in that hell for so long she didn't know what was right any more. But now she felt things would be different.

Days had passed then months then years, and Hitomi began to grow accustomed to the way things were use to Sesshomaru leaving in the night, his stare, the way he was and how he seemed to keep all his feelings to himself. Yet her nightmares still continued, she lay in the futon she'd been given to share a room with Rin in the small yet suitable house Sesshomaru had gotten for them. She stared up into nothingness, Sesshomaru had gone and Checked up on the Panther Tribe to see if they'd decide to betray him after he had just Saved them from Death, so she stared up, searching for something, the way he made her feel, the way he looked at her made her feel special.

****

Cold  
Lying in my bed  
Staring into darkness

__

Lost  
I hear footsteps overhead  
And my thoughts return  
Again

She sighed as she slowly fell asleep her nightmares like always haunting, worse when Sesshomaru wasn't there for her to feel protected.

She woke up sweating, and she thought of him to try and calm herself, but not working something was missing, she had forgotten to tell Rin to take her daily bath so the child had gone all day with out one, she'd screwed up for the first time since she'd been with them, what would be done to her she hadn't thought of what would happen if she'd screwed up just of the daily things, she decided she would punish herself to make this right to prove to him that she knew she'd done wrong. So she stood up and searched through the darkness for some sharp object then she found it, the short sword he'd bought for her incase someone or something attacked her and Rin while he was away.

She unsheathed it and put the blade to her upper arm she shivered to its cold touch, then she sighed as she felt it's sharpness penetrate her pale skin smiled with relief as the warm crimson flowed down her arm, she quickly tied a piece of cloth over and wiped the blade off putting it back in its sheath and she went to sleep dreamless.

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I'm so far away  
And so alone  
I need to see your face  
To keep me sane  
To make we whole

He returned late that morning and Hitomi had woken up to Rin's happy laughter. She jumped up smiling forgetting she had cut herself late last night. She ran out there to them and stood quietly in front of Sesshomaru, then she spoke up, "My Lord?Did you find out if the Pan?" "Hitomi, what happened why is your arm covered in blood? Were you two attacked?" Sesshomaru questioned in his stern yet gentle voice. Hitomi gasped she'd forgotten about what she'd done to herself, " No" she shook her head " no I was practicing with the short sword you'd given me and I accidentally cut myself" she turned her eyes away from him to stare at the ground, she lied to him she'd never done that and she felt as if she'd betrayed him. He stared at her and then turned away.

__

Try to stay alive  
Until I hear your voice  
I'm gonna lose my mind  
Someone tell me why  
I chose this life  
This superficial lie  
Constant compromise  
Endless sacrifice

Later on through the day Hitomi and Rin had laughed together as they splashed water at each other accidentally getting Sesshomaru and Jaken. Sesshomaru sighed and jumped into a tree. He kept his eyes on Hitomis still fresh wound.

June rolled around and Sesshomaru and His "pack" had been roaming and then were stopped as the female demon kagura landed in front of them. "Sesshomaru" she said "nice to see you again" Sesshomaru nodded that being his response. "your half-breed brother has managed to Find Narkus new Castle are you going to do as I requested a while back?" Sesshomaru nodded and followed Kagura as she showed him to Narakus castle, Rin, Hitomi, and jaken following close behind. A few hours later they had made it to Narakus new castle. "Inuyasha" Sesshomaru said and Hitomi and the others went and stood near Kagome and Shippo. Kagome looked over at Hitomi and at her arms she paused, she smiled brightly then spoke "hi, im Kagome" "Hitomi." the two got to talking as Inuyasha and Sesshomaru fought their battle. Kagome asked Hitomi had gotten all her scars and her new wounds and Hitomi she didn't know why but she just told her everything. Then as Inuyasha came over to kagome and the others they began to talk and Hitomi had stood at Sesshomarus side with Rin behind her protecting her from anything. Then the two brothers went into their battle again inuyasha seemed to have his eyes set on Hitomi then he turned gaze back to Sesshomaru he smirked. And Sesshomaru had said some Remark that the others could not hear then Inuyasha had come back with something just as powerful, he yelled " At least Kagome doesn't cut herself, and knows I actually care about her!!" Sesshomaru didn't seem to care he just came at inuyasha like he usually did he attacked Inuyasha and Pinned him to the ground, glaring at him he stood up and grabbed Hitomi by the wrist dragging her with him making sure jaken and Rin followed. Rin had gotten a worried look on her face but she knew he would not harm Hitomi and jaken seemed pleased he wanted Lord Sesshomaru to hurt someone other then himself for once. Sesshomaru said nothing just dragged them all back to where they stayed he ignored Kaguras pleas and she backed away knowing he wouldn't stand for it especially not now. He had made Rin go to bed and Jaken keep watch over her, he did so regretfully as she jumped about and hit him once in awhile until Sesshomaru had demanded she lay down and sleep. He then pulled Hitomi behind a tree and stared at her intently, "Is it true? Have you been cutting yourself?" Hitomi looked at the ground then back up at him, "I'm tired" she said " Can I please go sleep?" her voice was quiet and his was stern and harsh "Fine" he growled and walked away from her. She stood there staring at the back of his head, he didn't understand and would never understand. She sighed and went into the house laying down on the futon and sleeping.

More days passed afterwards that would turn into months and he noticed new wounds still bleeding sometimes, once in awhile he would shove it off thinking she'd just been terribly bad with practicing the short sword, he'd thought about buying her another but if she was this bad with just the one he would wait until she'd gotten better.

Another day and again he would have to check on his allies, he was afraid to leave them alone what his brother had said drilled into his mind but Hitomi would not lie to him that much he knew. He didn't know what he'd do he dwelled on it , until he heard a noise inside the small house he'd gotten for Rin and Htomi, he jumped down from the tree he was resting in and peaked in to the window and saw someone moving around then he saw the shimmer of the short sword blade then blood glisten on its tip.

His thoughts moved to Hitomi, she'd been lying to him and now he finds out the truth almost 4 months and he was just now getting the truth and not from her but from witnessing it himself, he somewhat understood what she'd gone through while she was with her old master but why would she continue to punish and hurt herself like she was doing this very moment. He watched as her eyes seem to grow vacant and gray. He then waited as she laid back down and waited until he was sure she would be sleeping.

__

Pain  
It saddens me to know  
The helplessness you feel  
Your light  
Shines on my soul  
While a thousand candles  
Burn

Sesshomaru shook his head things, would be different and he hoped she would know that, he had to leave early so he said nothing to them. He and Jaken left with out saying goodbye. Hitomi woke up no smile on her face this time she'd felt like a baka for what she had done and wanted to talk to her lord, she stepped outside looking out for him up in trees and what not but found no trace of him then she remembered that he had left and why and she knew it was important, she sighed and went back into the house. She felt worthless, like she was a waste of a life, like she made no difference in the world. She sometimes wondered how things would be if she'd died the first time Lord Hayate had beaten her badly, she always wanted to die and she always wondered how people would react if she had killed herself if she were to slit her wrists and have them wake up to her lifeless body but she could never do it she was too weak, too much of a useless human, she was below Sesshomaru and she knew it she could see it sometimes in his eyes and she wanted nothing more then to know he cared and that he wanted her to live but when Inuyasha had told him she was hurting herself , it seemed he didn't care and didn't want to help her through it, either that or he just wouldn't believe it.

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Outside this barren room  
The rain is pouring down  
The emptiness inside  
Is growing deeper still

Sesshomaru had Sat in a tree Three days after his visit with the Cat's he sat wondering how things were going with Hitomi and Rin he had to get back to them soon and he knew sitting here would get him nowhere. Yet he did not want Jaken to know he actually cared with all his demon heart for these humans that if he were to lose either of them that his world would seem to crumble slowly. He wouldn't let it be. He thought of Hitomi and what she must have been deprived of all her life. Sadness filled his heart, he now had two lonely Girls.

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You're so far away  
And so alone  
You long for love's embrace  
To keep you sane  
To make you whole

She'd felt alone waiting for him to return she thought for sure he'd be back today, it had been a week and nothing, no word from him, no sight of him absolutely nothing. She'd been hurting so bad her heart felt as if it would shatter if she had to go through losing anything else, especially if it was someone close to her cracked, crushed, and aching heart. But would anyone feel the same about losing her, she'd always thought this she'd sometimes wished she couldn't care about others, that she was purely emotionless, but sometimes she just wanted to live and to be able to do anything she wanted yet she knew that in this world, in this life that was impossible, so she thought at least the attempt to seem happy would be good enough.

__

Moments wasted  
Isolated  
Time escaping  
Endless sacrifice

****

Over the distance  
We try to make sense  
Of surviving together  
While living apart

Sesshomaru had gotten caught up in battle with another kind of enemy another battle another couple of days away from the two. He sighed as he used his claws to slice open yet another one of the charging weaker demons, he had told them all this battle would be a waste of time. The leader ran away in horror as he watched his men get slaughtered Sesshmaru laughed, "Your ignorant fool you run from your comrades learn to live with out others fighting your battles for you" he walked away from the bloody sight and stopped when he got some where far away from it.

He'd began to think of Hitomi again.

__

Striving for balance  
We rise to the challenge  
Of staying connected  
In spite of circumstance

Rin had woken Hitomi up from a nap, "Hitomi shouldn't Lord Sesshomaru be back by now?" "yes Rin but im not sure where he is so just be patient and im sure he'll come back." she answered with a smile. She'd began to realize how much had happen in this past week how much she'd have missed if she'd let herself die, a fading smile that's all she'd have, but it was good enough for her as long as she would get to see Rin grow up and hope Sesshomaru finds what he seems to be constantly looking, what it was she wasn't sure just hoped he'd find it. She was thankful for now for what she had been given and it was all thanks to Sesshomaru for saving her from that Hell Hole.

__

All you've forsaken  
And all that you've done  
So that I could live out  
This undying dream  
Won't be forgotten  
Or taken for granted  
I'll always remember  
Your endless sacrifice

She knew he'd come back and that it wouldn't be long .

__

Moments wasted  
Isolated  
Time escaping  
Endless sacrifice

Ok ppls that's it I had to use up the lyrics it wouldn't have felt right blah that took forever it seemed only a couple of days but it was not too much fun it was depressing heh funny I wrote that when I was sad blah!! P


End file.
